Waterville, ME – Local ne’er-do-well and former bouncer, Edward Pelletier, has been making a name for himself of late by starting his own electric company. His rise to prominence started inauspiciously in the summer of 2005.
“I was watching TV and some guy was talkin’ ‘bout how they can use trash to make electricity and I thought [darn] man, I got lots of trash. I should start doin’ it,” Pelletier said. “I got extension cords, plugged one end in my trash cans and the other end in my house and bam, I got electricity.”
Baffling scientists, Pelletier has managed to convert the stored energy in trash into actual usable energy. “In order to convert this energy, the trash must be combusted,” said a Professor of Physics at Colby College. “I don’t know what Mr. Pelletier is doing here but it is not as simple as he might lead you to believe.”
Said Pelletier, “I don’t know how it works. I just know it works.”
Many locals swear by it. “I couldn’t imagine living without it. I was really sick of depending on corporate electricity. I wanted some good old fashioned local electricity. Sure it might not run as smoothly as standard electricity, but that’s part of its charm,” said Jane Fuller.
Pelletier’s electricity is not without its detractors, however. Because of its high price and frequent outages, Eddie’s Electricity has not caught on among Waterville’s poorer residents.
Said longtime friend of Pelletier, Tim Dubois, “That [nogoodnik] still owes me money.”
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