U.S. Army Intelligence Administers Déjà Vu Serum to Soldiers

By: Rad Raines

WASHINGTON - Science Fiction inched closer to reality this week for a group of U.S. troops stationed in Iraq.

The elite company of hand picked soldiers weren’t recipients of the latest state of the art weaponry or gadget. In fact, they received little more than a glass of water containing a concentrated dosage of an experimental serum known as DVU.

The highly controversial drug which has suffered extensive scrutiny among many top ranking army officials is believed to speed reaction time in combat situations by enabling the individual the power of clairvoyance.

According to army intelligence reports, the serum was created in the late 1990’s and deemed unethical, but escalating casualties and a growing demand for troop withdrawal has prompted the government to revisit all available options at it‘s disposal.

Perhaps more disturbing is an addendum contained in accompanying files, indicating that as far back as the 1930’s, early forms of DVU were administered to the general populous through the water supply, causing what is universally known as déjà vu. Washington denies these reports.

But, some top brass have come forward to defend the accuracy of these early tests. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one proclaimed, “Déjà vu is clearly not a natural phenomenon, but a man-made agent formulated by our government. Anyone who experiences this sensation is likely a descendant of someone infected some 70 years ago.”

“Anyone who experiences this sensation is likely a descendant of someone infected some 70 years ago.”